Our first burger joint: SmashBurger Sugar Land
Date: Saturday, 18 January
Number in Attendance: 9
SmashBurger might seem like an odd choice to kick off the Great Texas Burger Search. It's not a quirky little Mom and Pop joint; it's a national chain that did $135 million in sales last year. And it's not even Texan: the company is based in Denver, Colorado.
Those incongruities actually make it the perfect first stop for our trip. Americans consume 50 billion hamburgers per year (that's three burgers a week, for every man, woman and child in the nation). Most of those are eaten in chain restaurants: McDonald's alone claims to serve 2.4 billion burgers a year. Texas produces more beef than any other state (14.9 per cent of the national total).
Red meat is a way of life here, and sooner or later, a real Texan is going to eat some of beef in a place with plastic chairs and a self-serve soda fountain. If you're going to do an honest survey of Texas hamburgers, you've got to put a fast food chain on the list. It might as well be a nice, somewhat upscale one. As for SmashBurger being from out of state, what's more Texan than being from someplace else? Heck, Sam Houston was from Tennessee. No one is actually from here: we all arrived from Points Elsewhere.
Like Denver.
On with the reviews!
Our first review comes from Grandma C., who combines a hamburger connoisseur's keen eye with a mother's constant concern for safety and hygeine:
Let me be the first to comment on Smashburger. The burger was great...not too thick. The lettuce, tomatoes, etc. were very
fresh. Sweet potato fries were to die
for. The service was friendly. This was my first trip to Smashburger. I only have one negative comment. It could have been cleaner in the eating
area. The bench that Jacob and Lynda were sitting on was broken...could have
been dangerous. As I tried to adjust
the.bench, the waiter warned me that I could get hurt like another person
did. But all and all, I loved the food!
Next up, Aunt Lyn, who drinks root beer floats about as often as Pope Francis takes a date to Senior Prom at Vatican City High, so this was a day of Frolicsome Indulgence for her:
I loved the burger at Smashburger! I like the thin patty, the tomato, lettuce, pickles and red
onions, and the bun: not too heavy, not too
light. I ordered the Texas burger, so
that means only mustard, no mayo or ketchup (I added my own). I splurged and added cheese. The burger
was delicious, and the "regular" size satisfied my hunger. I also ordered the haystack onion rings: they are like no others that I have had, very thin and heavy on the pepper. Delicious, although a little greasy. To
top off my meal, I had a root beer float with a bottle of IBC root beer and one
scoop if Haagen-Dazs vanilla ice cream. I would have liked two scoops of the ice
cream, but it was still very good. I am
holding up my Smashburger as the baseline for the burgers we try this year. I'll see if any can compare.
Not to be outdone, a tag team review from the father and son duo of Mo and Henry:
Here
is Henry's review:
The
burger was not too thick, which I liked. The fries were small in size but
the portions were big. The drink was pretty good. I had a lemonade.
The burger was juicy and the fries were cooked to perfection! All
in all, I give Smashburger a 9 out of 10.
And
here is Mo's:
The restaurant seemed
a bit dirty. The tables weren't wiped off and there was trash on the
floor. I ordered an avocado burger. I should have remembered to
hold the mayo but I forgot. I'm not a mayo person. The burger was
small but the taste was good. The meat was thin and the bun was small.
The fries were too thin but they had a good taste. I give the
burger an 8.5 and the fries a 6 out of 10.
Noah is a man of strong opinions. And prodigious appetite. In fairness to SmashBurger, his complaints about portion size may be overstated. Filling Noah is like filling the Grand Canyon: it takes a lot of combo meals.
The burger at Smashburger was great. It had a great flavor
and was perfectly cooked, in my opinion. The fries were small, but nice and
crispy. Along with the burger and fries, I got a root-beer float, which was very
refreshing and the perfect sweet treat to go along with the savory burger. My
only complaints with Smashburger would be the service and portion size. The
lady at the cash register got my order wrong so I ended up with a burger
smaller then the one I had ordered. I had to -- actually, my dad had to -- order
another one for me. Even after the second burger, I was still feeling a bit peckish. I
give Smashburger a 8.5/10. Even though the food was delicious, it just wasn't
enough to fill me up.
Erin went the Hippie Route, rejecting ground beef for the delights of the Black Bean Veggie Burger:
My Smashburger report is this: LOVE IT.
I enjoyed the black bean veggie burger with mustard and the typical
hamburger condiments. It was very
flavorful and yummy. I'd eaten
the Texas Burger a while ago and really enjoyed that experience, too. It was juicy, savory, and truly a delight to
eat!
Shawn also went the iconoclast route, eschewing the traditional burger for its fine feathered cousin. Mabel and Jacob stayed on course, opting for red meat:
Shawn - Confession: I broke the rules and
ate a chicken sandwich. I know...I'm sorry. Now, I have been to
SmashBurger plenty of times to know that it is a tasty enough burger to give it
an 8.5. The chicken sandwich wasn't too shabby either. Good stuff.
Mabel - This is one of my favorite hamburgers.
Very flavorful. I give it a 9!
Jacob - I love SmashBurger. I've been known
to ask my parents to drive clear across town when I'm craving it. I'm going
with my dad and give it an 8.5.
All's forgiven, Shawn. A burger's a burger, be it made from Beef, Chicken, Veggie, Turkey, Buffalo, Ostrich, Rutabaga, Porcini Mushrooms, or South American Tree Frog.
